That's how long I've danced. But not in a row. When I was three years old, my mom singed me to ballet course, since my genes are not the most unfragile ones, to protect me. And because I was kinda wild child... An so ballet became a big part of my life, and I can honestly say that my ballet coach has played a huge role in what I have grown up to be. And ballet have taught me a lot from my body to how to handle world. For me it is a way of life, though I am not a professional.

When I was 10, I did want to become a ballerina, and my coach said that I could easily get into National Opera School, but my parents told me no. And ofc at that age you don't exactly do those decisions by yourself, so ballet remained as a hobby for 17 years until the day that my loved teacher quit. By that time, I was 19 and once the biggest mentor was out of my life, I moved to another city, did few seasons in Lapland as a waitress and tried to figure out what to do when I grow up. I'm still on that same trip.

When you wanna become a professional dancer, you usually should decide that while you are 14-15 years old and make it your whole life. And when I was 15, I did so much more than just danced; I played violin and piano, sang alone and in a choir, did some acting, and hang out with friends. I went to music line in upper secondary, and focused on musical acting in high school. At senior year when I maybe started to realize that why on earth I never gave up with dancing, since it was always the thing I could do best, but I just got lost on track and wanted to do everything. And when I graduated and it became the time to search into schools I somehow felt like I am not as good as other dancers of my age cause I didn't focus on that at the crucial years: 13-17, by that time, it was only a dear hobby and basic, everyday thing in my life, nothing to pay attention to. I was very good at it, but I somehow forgot it.

And now, I'm 25. If I wanted to be a professional, I should already be one. Or should I?

After four year break from dancing, I started to miss it so bad that I started it again in November 2015. It was maybe the best decision that I have done in a while. After spent 7 years of trying to find something to do with my life, and getting my bachelor's degree in hospitality management there between (It was only supposed to be a back-up plan job), I still find myself wondering, could I still be a dancer? Maybe, but in these circles, I'm old. I can't exactly get into a ballet academy anymore, and I am competing with 5-7 years younger dancers, but that doesn't mean I couldn't do it, right?

In my opinion, it is kind of sad that people should know after finished high school what they wanna become or do for living. It is only a minority that actually know at that point what they want. So I say, I am not old, and I am a lot wiser and motivated than I was at 17. And this blog is established for me, as my diary, and for you guys to follow me, whether I become or not a dancer. We'll see about that, but I am not giving up an either way, as I said at the very beginning, this is a way of life.

This is not only about me becoming a dancer, this is about a healthy way of life and doing what you love, and this time, I want to share it out loud. Love your body and mind and listen what They have to say.

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